Hungry For Something That I Can't Eat
by Copper's Mama
Summary: Dean/Cas fic, as thought Dean WAS hungry for something: Cas. Got the title from a Hairspray song ... please and review!


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_A Dean/Cas fic._

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_Disclaimer: Don't own Supernatural. Likely never will, but we can dream, can't we? _

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_A/N: Okie dokie, this was number 12 on my list of Dean/Cas fics to write ... and let me just predict how awkward this will be to type up while I'm at school ... constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure no one's reading what I'm writing. _

_Anywhoo, this story takes place during "My Bloody Valentine", but with the idea that Dean was, in fact, hungry for something ... someone. Castiel himself ... hehe, can't wait to write this. _

_As always, please read and review, I live for feedback! _

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He pushed away the burger in front of him, his appetite diminished. Sam commented on him not being hungry, and Dean ignored him, wondering himself what was up with that. He had begun feeling weird since they had been at the morgue ... well, more specifically: since he had called Castiel to meet them at the morgue. When the angel had arrived right in front of him he'd had to steady himself, and when the angel had continued talking to him on the phone even though he was right there, he'd had flashes of his life as a teenager ... well, what normal teenagers would have been doing. Calling their significant others and making stupid small-talk, and then going back and forth with pitiful "no, you hang up"s.

Now, as Castiel took the burger he'd abandoned and brought it to his lips, gorging himself on the meal, Dean felt something stirring inside of him. He knew he'd felt it before, he was sure ... but he couldn't place it.

It happened again when Castiel came into their motel room holding a bag of burgers. He felt this urge to grab the angel and ...

Cas explained that it wasn't Cupid causing all the mayhem, that it was Famine - the Horseman. He was making everyone hungry for what they desired.

If that was true then that meant that ... _That I'm hungry for Cas? Oh, come on!_

Every time he started to make a move, to act on his hunger, something happened, something got in his way. First it was Sam telling them that he was hungry for demon blood. Then it was dealing with the ramifications of that, and having to lock him up. Then Castiel left without so much as a word, and Dean felt like he could breathe again.

_Maybe if I spend as little time with him as possible, then it won't affect me as much ... we just need to kill this son of a bitch, and then everything can go back to normal. _

Castiel arrived back in the car with another bag of burgers, and Dean started squirming in his seat. Every bite the angel took made his skin crawl, made him want to pounce ... He struggled to control himself, making some sort of conversation about the amount of burgers he'd eaten, lying through his teeth when Castiel asked him why he hadn't been affected by Famine, and then finally sending the angel after the horseman.

He waited four, maybe five seconds before he couldn't take it anymore. Not only should Castiel have been back by then, but he _needed_ to see him, needed to be close to him.

He made his way into the building, saw the guy in fry-vat and had to hold back a bout of vomiting ... then he thought he could use that image to push back his desire for the angel. He kept going, focusing on that nasty sight. He saw Castiel hunched over what looked like a briefcase, eating something - _of course_ - and he tried to call out to him quietly, but he was discovered.

Next thing he knew, he was being brought before the horseman. Cas was chowing down on what looked like raw hamburger meat, and the dude in the wheelchair started talking to him.

Dean was only half-listening, trying to figure out a way to get them out of the mess they'd found. The sight of Castiel shovelling the meat into his mouth was unappealing enough to quell his hunger for the moment, and he went back to mouthing off the bastard from hell.

Then the horseman told him something he'd feared for a long time ... he'd already given up on the fight. He might still be fighting, but his heart ... his _soul_ wasn't in it. He was just going through the motions. Famine had placed his hands on Dean and told him he was empty, that there was nothing left. Maybe he was right ... maybe he'd just been telling himself that he'd been hungry for Cas so that he wouldn't feel like something was wrong with him.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Sam was even there until he spoke. He watched with horrified eyes as Sam - with blood all over his mouth - killed the demons in the room, and then Famine himself.

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Nearly two weeks passed before Dean accepted the fact that it hadn't all been in his head ... he could feeling it growing bigger every day, this feeling inside of him. The yearning for Castiel.

Sam was still pretty shaky, so Dean had taken some time away from him while he recuperated at Bobby's. He was looking into a shifter case a couple states over, contemplating his situation.

He toyed with the phone in his hands, trying to build up the courage to make the call. With a final sigh of "screw it", he punched send, waiting for the ring on the other end. The angel answered after the first ring, inquiring about Dean's location. Dean gave him the address and the room number, then waited the half-second it took for Castiel to arrive.

"I'm there," Castiel told him, and Dean flipped his phone closed.

"Yeah, I know, Cas," Dean answered, waiting for the angel to put his own phone away.

"What can I help you with?" Castiel asked.

Dean sighed, sitting down on the bed, then standing back up quickly. "Um, well ... there's actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

Castiel nodded, waiting for Dean to continue.

He rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously, wondering where to begin. "Okay, so ... you know when you asked me why I hadn't been affected by Famine? Why I wasn't hungry for anything?"

Castiel nodded silently.

"Well ... I sort of was," Dean continued. "Well ... am."

Castiel furrowed his brow. "You were hungry, but you managed to stave it off?"

Dean shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

Castiel's eyes blinked. "That is incredible. A seemingly impossible feat, Dean."

Dean shrugged again, feeling is shoulders flop back down excessively. "Yeah, that's not really the part I'm trying to focus on right now."

Castiel nodded, stepping forward. "Okay. What is on your mind?"

Dean shuffled his feet, wondering where to begin.

Castiel waited patiently for Dean to inform him of why he had summoned him, there, but as the seconds stretched into minutes, he grew weary and dipped into his mind to sort out the reason behind it all.

What he saw shocked him, internally and externally. "Oh," he spoke aloud, his body slacking.

Dean looked up, wondering what the angel meant. Seeing the look of realization in his eyes, Dean knew instantly that Castiel had read his mind. "Well ... that makes things easier." He waited for Castiel to react, or ask him something ... or maybe even just leave.

A minute or two passed, and then Castiel stepped forward, looking at Dean intently.

Dean watched him moving closer and closer to him, wanting him to make the first move ... and just like that, he did. He sealed his lips tentatively over Dean's mouth, testing out the sensation.

Dean took it the extra mile, bringing his hand up to Castiel's neck and drawing him even closer to him.

Minutes later, the two decided vehemently that the experiment was a success, and Dean pulled out the chocolate sauce, leading the angel to his bed with a hooked finger.

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_The end. _

_Okay, I WAS going to take this a step further and get a little explicit, but it was a little awkward doing this in class while talking about little kid's behaviours. _

_I might add another chapter later, though ... but for now this is finished. _

_Reviews are appreciated, flame if you must, but constructive criticism is more welcome and helpful. _

_Until next time ...! _


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